Humour debates and convos
by SunnyDay24
Summary: So, I am just pairing 3 people and make them talk together. Like Fisrt part Aizen Ichigo and Kon "friendly" discussion. Read and review and vote for the next chappie. If I get no votes I will NOT UPDATE.Rated T for language. chapter 3 revised
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach at all. Not even one of these characters. I am writting this just for fun.

A/N: This fic is just humour fic. It has nothing to do with romance and descriptive things. It will be like a script. Nothing else. I would really appreciate some reviews as to if you liked my humor and such.

Chappie 1

friendly conversations between Kon, Aizen and Ichigo.

Ichigo: So Sousuke, what are your plans?

Aizen: It is Aizen-sama to you low Shinigami.

Kon: Yes yes, Aizen-sama for you.

Ichigo: Don't be stupid and pumped up Sousuke, we are not acting now!

Aizen: A serious actor takes his role seriously and practises even when he sleeps.

Ichigo: Is that so? You practice even when you sleep? And even when you have sex?

Aizen: Of course!

Kon: He took the whole thing seriously.

Ichigo: I know.

Aizen: I wonder, do you have sex Ichigo?

Ichigo: Why would I answer your question baka?

Aizen: So you don't!

Ichigo: The hell i am gonna tell you bastard.

Kon: I haven't had sex for a long time now!

Aizen: You will never have it no matter what.

Kon: Ha, and here I was supporting you, maybe I am a stuffed animal but my charisma is still there. Do you wanna see.

Aizen: I think I will pass.

Ichigo: What Aizen? Maybe you are afraid that you are not a man huh? Maybe you are just gay. Now I knew it, the hairstyle, the white, certainly gay.

Aizen: I happen to have a video of me and Halibel with me. She is pretty hot and I am sure that watching it you will see that I am not gay.

Ichigo: The hell i would see that. Don't be ridiculous.

Kon: You are ridiculous. Aizen-sama, let sweet Kon see it for him.

Aizen: Of course. But no charisma showing off ok?

Kon: Deal.

Ichigo: You are both so pumped up.

Aizen: You should watch it with him. Since I am sure you have never seen a naked woman.

Ichigo: Huh, now you are wrong I have!

Kon: Are you reading th magazines Karin's friends gave me?

Ichigo: No. I have seen Yoruichi!

Aizen: I am jealous. I wish I was you now.

Ichigo: Hahahahaha I knew you liked her.

Aizen: If you haven't noticed everyone does. Urahara is a lucky man.

Ichigo: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Aizen: You didn't know? They are a couple.

Ichigo: How do you know that? Don't tell me...

Aizen: Yes... I am telling you.

Ichigo: Aizen a peeping Tom? Yoruichi has to hear this.

Aizen: seathes his Zanpakuto Now now boy, don't make me kill you. If she finds out I am pretty much doomed.

Kon: He is really afraid of her?

Aizen: Every man is afraid of her. Her abilities are legendary, her reiatsu was and is the greatest.

Ichigo: Are you in love with her?

Aizen: Idiot, I don't have to answer your question.

Kon: Ichigo, he is still holding his Zanpakuto, do not anger him.

Ichigo: Kon, I am not afraid of him, remember, this is a fake one. We are not acting now! Relax!

Aizen: I can still hit you though!

Ichigo: Give me a break baka.

Kon: They have to stop that. (thinks)

Aizen: Do not challenge me Kurosaki or you will feel the blade right in your stomache.

Ichigo: Bring it.

Kon: Relax people. You are really annoying. I knew I was the only sane character here but I thought that at least you two were more sane than me.

Ichigo: I am sane of course!

Aizen: Me too!

Ichigo: That comes from a guy who is acting when he is having sex. comes near the screen

Kon: I know.

Aizen: I just take my job seriously.

Ichigo: Too seriously.

Aizen: I am tired of you!

Ichigo: Bring it boy!

Aizen: Funny, you are 15 and I am 200 years old and still you think you are older. Pretty much idiotic.

Ichigo: You take your role very seriously. You are just 23. You are not Shinigami, open your eyes.

Aizen: Non professional arrogant!

Kon: Stop it you two. You annoy the hell out of me. kicks both and they fell down unconsious

Kon:Ha, I knew you stood no chance against my manliness and martial ablities. Boys. You are both too young to talk to me. HA!

to be continued.

So... a review would be nice. I will write the next chappie soon :D Please don't flame me :)

NOW REVIEW AND TELL ME... Who should I put up next?

Hitsugaya Ulquiorra and Orihime

Rukia Byakuya and Ichigo

Byakuya Kenpachi and Matsumoto?

Isshin Byakuya and Shinji?

Urahara Isshin and Ryuuken?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I am just using the characters of bleach to make a funny story.

A/N: Well, as I have already said it is just a for fun fanfic. Behind the screen! YO... lol. Thanks a lot to my reviewers. And Because I do not want to dissatisfy you, I am going to write 2 chapies today :D And please read my other fanfic too. Of War and Love and leave me a review there too :D It is going to be a funny one I assure you.

Chapter 2

Rukia, Byakuya and Ichigo friendly conversation.

Rukia: Ichigo, did you read the Sailor Moon Manga? I tell you you have to.

Ichigo: Why would I do such a thing?

Rukia: Obviously because I tell you!

Byakuya: You should do so, you will see that Sailor Moon is quite like Inoue. Crybaby and such.

Ichigo: I knew that already do not remind me.

Rukia: How did you know?

Byakuya: It is obvious that he reads bishoujo manga!

Ichigo: Byakuya of course I don't!

Rukia: How dare you call him Byakuya? His name is Kuchiki-sama.

Byakuya: Do not be afraid my dear sister, he will realise soon that the likes of him cannot refer to me without honorifics.

Ichigo: We fought side by side Byakuya for goodness sake.

Byakuya: Again I will tell you, we were acting. This is real life.

Rukia: Perhaps you both need a break. Nii-sama, Ichigo, both to the corner now!

Ichigo: She punishes you? whispers to Byakuya

Byakuya: Do not ask! whispered back

Rukia: What are you two talking about?

Ichigo and Byakuya: Nothing nothing!

Byakuya: She knows we were talking about her. Rukia shouldn't be taken lightly! Her talent in guessing and painting is over everyone's expectations!

Ichigo: I have seen her drawings! They suck!

Byakuya: What? Rukia's drawings are artistic! Take it bacK. GLARES

Rukia: Kicks Ichigo on his back and steps on him. You were saying about my drawings?

Ichigo: They are marvelous! Terrific.

Rukia: presses her foot on his back Terrific? Maybe you mean fantastic? Ne?

Ichigo: Yes yes

Byakuya: Laughs

Ichigo and Rukia: He is ...laughing? fainted

Byakuya: Why do people think that I can't laugh?

Me: Because you never do!

Byakuya: Who is this?

Me: It is me. The writer?

Byakuya: Why are you talking to me? You are supposed to just write! Right?

Me: They fainted, somehow these pages have to be filled!

Ichigo: She is right!

Byakuya: They are alive, now author go back to writting.

Me: Of course Byakuya-sama.

Ichigo: Lucky you!

Rukia: Nii-sama's greatness and charm can't be overlooked Ichigo!

Byakuya: blushes You don't have to say it Rukia.

Ichigo: What about my charm?

Byakuya: Do not complain, we both know that you and Rukia are a couple.

Rukia: blushes Nii-sama, the people who read this don't have to know!

Ichigo: Eh... so it is a secret?

Rukia: No...

Byakuya: Someone is hurt...whispers to me

Me: I know...

Ichigo: Do not no me, brat, is it or not?

Rukia: What do you want me to say?

Ichigo: Something...

Rukia: Well...uhm...You know... I love... you... and...I care...

Ichigo: Good!

Rukia: smacks Ichigo's head Baka.

Ichigo: Why diz ziou do zat? nosebleeding broken teeth

Rukia: I said that I lov you and that I care and you said .. "good"! It served you right.

Me: She is right!

Ichigo: Zou Know I lov zou Rukia!

Byakuya: Such confessions in front of her big brother mean only one thing.

Rukia and Ichigo: What?

Byakuya: You should settle a date for the wedding. I can't have my little sister being dishonoured having a premarital relationship.

Me: He is right.

Rukia and Ichigo: No way.

Byakuya: seathes his Zanpakuto and puts it on his neck. Do not "no way " me younglings.

Ichigo: I am screwed.

Rukia: Well...now that I think of it, I look good in a wedding dress!

Ichigo: 'Oh... no' thinks

Byakuya: I am not asking you neglegible quantity, I am ordering you!

Ichigo: Then I should better do it...

Me: Byakuya you ruined the moment for Rukia...

Byakuya: Why?

Me: Your soul is so romanticless that you even forgot that the man should propose on his knees and such.

Byakuya: You think?

Me: Yes...

Ichigo: GRABS RUKIA AND HOLDS HER IN HIS ARMS AND STARTS RUNNING LIKE CRAZY I will marry her now no matter what, your opinions will be ignored!

Me: I guess we made it. Give me five.

Byakuya: gives me five We are the best team... what should we do next?

Me: Have no clue...

Byakuya: How about going out for a cup of coffe?

Me: blushes sure... wait.. no... what about my ex? I still love him.

Byakuya: When you have me your ex will be nothing but an ugly memory.

Ichigo: looks from far Rukia.. I thikn that your brother lost it.

Rukia: Tell me about it...

Ichigo: As Kuchiki Byakuya in the show he is strict and cold...

Rukia: He is like that in reality too, though not with me or apparently with the author.

Ichigo: I wonder why!

Rukia: Who knows?

back to me and Byakuya

Me: Should we cut the act now? They have seen enough.

Byakuya: I wasn't acting.

Me: Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... I have to be loyal to Histugaya don't look at me like that.

Byakuya: Do not be ridiculous, Hitsugaya is not of your age, I am!

Me: You have a point. ANyway... about that Cup of coffee...

Byakuya: Let's go then.

Me: Woaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Shunpoooooooooooooooooooo.

to be continued.

So... this was Rukia Ichigo and Byakuya...apparently I added myself for a reason lol. Now..I will do Isshin Ryuuken and Urahara :D

Review please and tell me your opinion.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I own me only lol. So ... this ia humor fic nothing else.

A/N: Thanks a lot to my 3 reviewers. I did Rukia Ichigo and Byakuya and now I am gonna do: Isshin Ryuuken and Urahara.

Chapter 3

Isshin Urahara and Ryukken friendly convo.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Urahara: Kurosaki-san, how are you doing today?

Isshin: Oh well, I am fine I guess, bursting with energy.

Ryuuken: Your face says otherwise.

Isshin: What are you talking about Ishida? Ar eyou blind or something?

Ryuuken: Me? Blind? Just because I happen to wear glasses it doesn't mean I am blind! I can see very clearly.

Urahara: Maybe it is time to change your glasses Ishida-san. I am sure I can find the best for you and I will charge you with a 5 discount.

Isshin: -sweatdrops- Ryuuken I do not think you want to buy from him, he is going to take all your money.

Ryuuken: I know. But anyway I don't need new glasses.

Urahara: Then why didn't you see Kurosaki-san's bursting with energy face?

Isshin: That is true. Maybe you need to give him some money, I know you have a lot, and he is just a hamble store keeper.

Ryuuken: Right, and I am the Pope.

Urahara: Sarcasm won't take you anywhere Ishida-san. You know I am witty!

Ryuuken: Witty you say? Please you have no talent!

Urahara: How can a hamble store keeper like me have talent? I am just witty.

Isshin: Urahara, cut the act.

Urahara: The act? I am not acting Kurosaki-san.

Ryuuken: I think you are.

Isshin: Yes you are. You always do.

Urahara: -waves his fan- Me? Of course not.

Isshin: Please cut it. It is no fan. We both know you have talent.

Ryuuken: I said he doesn't have any talent.

Urahara: Can we please forget it my friends?

Isshin: I agree. Next part, who is your lover Urahara?

Ryuuken: I knew you would end up talking about that Isshin.

Isshin: Every REAL man who respects himself talks about women.

Ryuuken: -lights a cigarette- As always, you are uncivilised.

Urahara: This is not good for your health.

Isshin: I told him but he didn't listen!

Ryuuken: My health will always be ok.

Urahara: Weird thing to say Ishida-san. Kurosaki-san I think you quit smoking ne?

Isshin: I quit smoking yeah. I smoke only over Masaki's tomb in her Memorial Day. She said that I look sexy when I smoke.

Ryuuken: She had no taste.

Urahara: -think that both of them are idiots- Now now my witty friends lets change the subject again. -coughs because of the smoke-

Isshin: Masaki had a lot os taste to pick me!

Ryuuken: If she was smart she would have picked another one.

Urahara: I said to both of you to change the subject. Please don't fight.

Isshin: Don't dare say that. She had a taste and she was smart.

Ryuuken: I am not going to argue anymore, it is pointless, the brain of yours is disturbed.

Urahara: You are annoying me and having fun?

Ryuuken: I am a Quincy Isshin. My brain is not disturbed.

Isshin: You are too pumped up.

Ryuuken: -puts off the cigarette by dropping it down and stepping on it- It is pointless.

Isshin: You give up already?

Ryuuken: I have no interest talking to you.

Urahara: I guess I will leave now!

Ryuuken and Isshin: PUT A SOCK IN IT!!

Urahara: Ah you noticed me now ne?

Isshin: You are talking to me all of your life.

Ryuuken: Bastard! Do not make me regret.

Isshin: Ishida I know you care.

Me: You are ALL insane! I am leaving!

Urahara: I thought you were with Byakuya for coffee.

Me: I was, but now I am back. I will see him soon winks

Ryuuken: Who said I care?

Isshin I think you love me too. That is why you are a friend of mine. You enjoy our fighting so much.

Ryuuken: Pointless again. I do not love you where the hell did you get that?

Me: Can I say?

Isshin and Ryuuken: NO!

Me: Ok.. I wil leave you here fighting and go to the next pair. Have fun -winks-

To be continued

So... finished...U remade it. I want reviews. And I want them badly. Tell me opinions and tell me who you want me to write about next through your reviews. PLEASE?:

Gin Kenpachi and Mayuri

Mayuri Ishida and Yama-jii

Kyuuraku Yama-jii and Ukitake?

Kyuuraku Ukitake and Unohana?

Kenpachi Ichigo and Nnoitora?


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not OWN bleach at all. This is merely something i doto have fun and get some reviews... so please leave a review to tell me if you liked the convo and debates.

Chapter 4

Mayuri, Ishida and Yama-jii

Yama-jii: I am glad you all came to my tea party. the room is empty and only Mayuri and Ishida are there

Mayuri: Soutaichou, the rest didn't came. And I am sure Hitsugaya-Taichou ignored you.

Yama-jii: I want to know the whereabouts of the rest Captains.

Ishida: Kenpachi went to the real world with Matsumoto to look for Ichigo.

Mayuri: That empty headed man. He will never stay still.

Ishida: Ukitake-taichou feels sick and Kyuuraku-Taichou keeps him company.

Mayuri: How typical. This man is always sick, he never came to me to find him a cure. Shame.

Yama-jii: I see, Mayuri, tomorrow you have to force him to come to you for a therapy.

Ishida: Kuchiki-Taichou is on a date with the writer of this fiction.

Yama-jii: He has it rough.

Mayuri: That spoilt brat needs to be put into his place!

Ishida: I don't know very well neither of them.

Yama-jii: You don't know how lucky you are.

Mayuri: She is annoying, and cunny and scolds everyone no matter what. Even me? The great me!

Yama-jii: And she hates me.

Ishida: What about me?

Mayuri: I hate you.

Ishida: Do you still keep grudges for what I did to you back then? I was only defending myself, and I din't kill you.

Mayuri: Like you were able to even kill me.

Yama-jii: Silence!

Ishida+Mayuri: Sumimasen.

Yama-jii: I am still waiting for the reports.

Ishida: Ah yes. Sui-Fon-Taichou is in the real world spying Yoruichi.

Mayuri: I knew she was a lesbian.

Ishida: She just admires her. Don't be ridiculous.

Yama-jii: I don't care about this conversation of yours. I want the reports. Quincy make it quick!

Ishida: -is a little afraid and sweatdrops- Ok...well, Amagai is in a Sake party... probably ended up drunk again.

Yama-jii: I see... he should just start coming to my tea parties then!

Mayuri: -thinks- I wonder why a genius like me has to put up with idiots!

Ishida: I don't really have a say on this. Anyway, Komamura-taichou is having his hair cut.

Yama-jii: I wonder if making him a Captain was the right decision. He keeps dirtying the aisles with his extra hairs.

Ishida: Aw, you see, Orihime-san gave him something like a pet brush, so now his hair will just be traped in the brush.

Mayuri: I told him to come to me, I had this special liquid that makes dog and fox hair stay on the body just for him!

Ishida: I didn't know you could do that!

Mayuri: There is nothing I can't do!

Yama-jii: The report!

Ishida: Ah yes, Hitsugaya-taichou is doing the paperwork his fukutaichou was supposed to do.

Mayuri: Yamamoto-sama, you have seen how I treat my fukutaichou. I am always strict and she follows my orders. Apparently that little kid is not appropriate for the position if he can't control Matsumoto.

Yama-jii: Silence! No ramblings while Ishida-san talks!

Ishida: Thanks Sou-taichou.

Yama-jii: Go on.

Ishida: Unohana Taichou is doing rounds in Rukongai taking care of the citizens who are ill. It was a new idea of her.

Yama-jii: Excellent thought for our souls.

Ishida: And these are their whereabouts.

Mayuri: How do you know? You are not supposed to know.

Ishida: I saw the screens in your lab later when I came to give something I borrowed from you. A Quincy tool.

Yama-jii: Mayuriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Mayuri: I can explain... It is a way to protect them, and assure their safety. Really nothing drastic!

Ishida: You did the same to me!

Yama-jii: Later we will have a talk. For now, leave my site, and Ishida-san, please, bring me some more tea and lets talk about the wisdom of youth.

tbc

Yes.. I KNOW ANNOYING.. BUT YOU DIDN'T VOTE.. SO vote for the nexy chapter please:

Ukitake, Kyuuraku + Shinji

Unohana, Shinji + Lisa

Hitsugaya, Matsumoto+ Hinamori?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach, this fic is just for fun and nothing else. :) This chapter takes place at the beach.

Chapter 5

Kyouraku, Shinji and Ukitake.

Juushiro: I don't like it here.

Shinji: You are nuts.

Kyouraku: What Shinji said. Enjoy Ukitake, the beach helps your health.

Juushiro: I see you enjoy the women Kyuuraku

Shinji: He is not alone.

Kyouraku: I am a healthy man. That is all.

Juushiro: Is it ok to watch Nanao swimming?

Kyouraku: As long as she doesn't know about it.

Shinji: Lisa will definetely approve of it.

Kyouraku: My ex fukutaichou loves me and wants me to be happy.

Juushiro: I think you 2 can conversate very well.

Shinji: It is our perverted nature that we have in common.

Kyouraku: I think that you are mistaken. It is called male nature.

Joushiro: I have a male nature but I am not perverted.

Shinji: Come on Ukitake, don't tell me that between you and Unohana nothing happened.

Joushiro: Unohana and I are simply good friends.

Kyouraku: Joushiro, you are in love with each other for the past 1000 years.

Joushiro: How do you know that?

Shinji: One of your Division seated officers speak a lot about you and her.

Joushiro: I guess outside of the camera me and Unohana are being an attraction for some people.

Kyouraku: Don't worry Ukitake. Don't give us that face. It is your life. You love one and we want all.

Shinji: I personally have a liking to Hiyori.

Joushiro: Somehow this doesn't surprise me. You were always close.

Kyouraku: Flat chested, bad temper, fangs, short, what the hell you find in her?

Shinji: Her beauty of course. Don't tell her though.

Both started laughing the moment he said , her beauty. Shinji sweatdropped.

Shinji: You just wish you could have a woman like Hiyori. She is amazing in every aspect.

Kyouraku: Have you and her completed the relationship?

Shinji: Yes, and I tell you it is amazing. Of all the women she is number one.

Joushirou: Please keep this conversation PG.

Kyouraku: Since when are you a kid Joushiro?

Shinji: I think that Shiro-chan needs to go out more often and be more open.

Kyouraku: But then Shiro-chan will anger Unohana and he will have it rough.

Shinji: A day without , this is hell!

Kyouraku: I got used to it.

Joushiro: Whatever you say won't touch me.

Shinji: Wait, you don't get it Kyouraku?

Kyouraku: I only want Nanao, and she keeps saying no.

Me: That is because you are a womaniser. Be more kind to her please. You know she loves you.

Joushiro: It is as If I didn't speak.

Me: Shiro-chan Unohana is over there, go swim with her.

Joushiro: I will go relax a little. This whole conversation made me dizzy.

Shinji: Bye Joushiro. And Kyouraku, please talk with Nanao on it, hearing the: It is not that bad once you get used to it , totally left me with an open mouth. Coming from your lips is not something common. You inspired all of us.

Me: Men, I am going, only Byakuya is worth my time it seems.

Kyouraku: The young boy is such a jerk, no matter why you like him , Haru-chan.

Me: Next time you say something like that, I won't let you live in any of my fics.

Shinji: If I were you, I would kiss her hand in apology. (wgispered shinji to Kyouraku)

Me: I am done with you. No more writting!

Shinji: Finally we can go swim without anyone knowing.

Kyouraku: And I will have some private time with Nanao-chan.

Me: Ok that was it. No more! (destroys everything she wrote)

TBC

Bad I know.. but a review would be nice :D And also tell me:

Grimmjow Orihime Ulquiorra?

Grimmjow Halibel Nel?

Hitsugaya Matsumoto Gin?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the characters pictured here.

Chapter 6 : Grimmjaw Orihime Ulquiorra

Grimmjaw: Oi, pet-san, heal me now!

Orihime: Heal you? I don't have to heal you. You are ok!

Ulquiorra: He won't be for long!

Orihime: What do you mean Ulquiorra-san?

Grimmjaw: He means that he is going to fight me!

Orihime: Ah please no no , no fights in front of me, you don't have to fight for me!

Grimmjaw: Who is going to fight for you?

Ulquiorra: Me?

Orihime: You both make me blush stop it please!*touching her cheeks*

Grimmjaw: She is pumped up!

Ulquiorra: That means she is going to cook.

Orihime: Yes I am going to cook! Let's cook!

Grimmjaw: I prefer Pizza.

Ulquiorra: I prefer pasta al pesto!

Orihime: I was thinking of rice with curry and tomato sauce mxed with gouda and some marmalade!

Grimmjaw: You make me sick!

Ulquiorra: Have you ever hit your head when you were young?

Orihime: Many times, more than 10! Why?

Grimmjaw: That explains the stupidity.

Ulquiorra: It explaijns everything.

Orihime: What are you saying?

Grimmjaw: Exactly!

Ulquiorra: I don't know what I see in this woman!

Grimmjaw: Her huge boobs?

Orihime: Ulqui-kun sees my fantastic character, and he really likes my cooking.

Ulquiorra: Probably!

Grimmjaw: I can see the lie!

Ulquiorra: *** **whispers * Don't ruin her fantasy, let her be happy.

Orihime: * goes to cook*

Grimmjaw: I am bored acting!

Ulquiorra: What are you saying? Your part was over anyway!

Grimmjaw: I asked them to do it! I couldn't help it.

Ulquiorra: Don't lie to me, everyone knows that you were enthusiastic about it.

Grimmjaw: I was....

Ulquiorra: I bet your girl whined and sexually deprived you!

Grimmjaw: Maybe!

Ulquiorra: I am glad I have no problems with my girl!

Grimmjaw: I didn't get any for almost a month,

Ulquiorra: Don't scare me!

Grimmjaw: You can imagine how hard it was on me!

Ulquiorra: I can't. Me and Orihime make love everyday!

Grimmjaw: Lucky! You get to be happy!

Ulquiorra: It is difficult to be happy!

Grimmjaw: Listen man, you have to be, look at my situation, I was doomed! I felt like I was never going to have it again!

Ulquiorra: Serves you right?

Grimmjaw: Die!

Ulquiorra: Thanks!

Me: Are you talking about sex?

Grimmjaw: The hell we do!

Ulquiorra: What do you want?

Me: I just thought to come by and take a peek!

Grimmjaw: * whispers to Ulquiorra* Is she the writer?

Ulquiorra: Probably!

Me: My dears, sorry for pairing you with Orihime, she is gonna feed you something really bad!

Grimmjaw: I will get you back!

Ulquiorra: I prefer to leave!

Me: You can't! Stayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Orihime: Lunch is ready!

Me: Oi untalented, what did you cook?

Orihime: The one you said before!

Grimmjaw: I suddenly feel sick!

Ulquiorra: Me too....

Orihime: If you eat the food you will get better!

Me: You intend to kill them with that bad taste of yours airhead!

Orihime: I won't!

Ulquiorra: Don't speak to her like that!

Grimmjaw: Yes, she is our pet-san!

Me: Get serious

Orihime: Let's just all of us sing happily. "Oreta awai tsubasaaaaaa"

Me: Stop this song now,, your high pitched voice kills me!

Grimmjaw: Keep going she will leave!

Ulquiorra: kimi was sukoshi aosugiru sora ni tsukarate dake sa...

Me: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Idiots!* kicks Orihime's butt*

Orihime: You are so cruel * cries and runs away*

Ulquiorra: Your attitude will make you end up alone!* follows Orihime *

Grimmjaw: If my girl decides to sexually deprive me again I will give you a call.

Me: Don't forget! * sarcastic*

Grimmjaw: Try me baby!

Me: Just go do your job Grimmjaw!

Grimmjaw: That is why you will end up alone for the rest of your life!* leaves too *

Me: I don't need you! I am fine by myself in this amazing *** **looks around * Dark Forest?

*** **is afraid *

Me: Byakuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

TBC

Ok.. what next?

Unohana Kenpachi Hanatarou?


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach! This is just fiction and for fun really nothing more.

Chapter 7

Hitsugaya – Halibel – Ichigo

Ichigo: Oi Toushiro, I want to ask you a favor!

Hitsugaya: IT IS Hitsugaya-sama and anyway I am busy, go home kid.

Halibel: Elementary students should listen to their elders.

Hitsugaya:** * **lip twitches in annoyance * You want to die?

Ichigo: Toushiro, I will give you lots of candy I prepared on my own just for you (obvious lie)

Hitsugaya: (vein pops on the forehead) Do you want to die too?

Halibel: Ice cream would be best for him. And of course you should also give him toys. Those ways always work with elementary students!

Ichigo: I asked Ikkaku to give me the things he had brought the last time to bribe him but he asked for a spar and I have no time for that.

Hitsugaya: Oi Kurosaki, I am not in a good mood, leave now that I still have no intention to kill you immediately.

Halibel: What can you do? Elementary student?

Hitsugaya: Die!

Ichigo: Oi oi Toushirou, such words should not come from the mouth of a Captain.

Halibel: Shall I let you try boy?

Hitsugaya: Any time! (has an angry expression while electricity comes out of his eyes)

Ichigo: I am being ignored (sweatdrops)

Halibel: That is why you are still short! You get mad easily boy! Relax or you will age early and stay short for ever.

Ichigo: I suddenly feel very cold. Ne, Halibel don't you feel that the temperature is dropping drastically?

Halibel: Now that you mention it...

Hitsugaya: It was clearly my fault for accepting your visit! Both of you leave my house NOW!

Ichigo: I just wanted you to freeze Rukia for a day so that I can fight without her coming to help me.

Halibel: Retard! Even frozen she will still come!

Hitsugaya: Don't ask ridiculous things! Be more serious kid!

Ichigo: Brat!

Hitsugaya: Who is the brat? Do I look like a brat? I am a CAPTAIN!!!! Unlike you -_-

Halibel: There he goes. -_-;;;

Ichigo: Yes you do look like a brat! An ugly one too.

Hitsugaya: Eh? (cocky expression) What are you talking about Nii-san?

Ichigo: (gets mad) Don't call me nii-san

Hitsugaya: Huh? Didn't you know? I am first in the "favorite character official poll" and I think you are Nii-san.

Halibel: Actually he is san-san.

Hitsugaya: Sun sun?

Halibel: Yes! Number three.

Ichigo: (worlds crumble) Why aren't I umber one? Aren't I the starring of the show? Kuso!!!!

Hitsugaya: It seems like even a "shortie" like me is better than you.

Halibel: Seems like our readers likes midgets since Rukia is number two.

Ichigo: (sulks even more) Even Rukia is more lovable than me! Kuso! Naze?

Hitsugaya: It is about level kid, level! You and I are like the sky and the earth!

Halibel: It started.

Ichigo: Yabe I have to shut him.

Me: WHO DO YOU HAVE TO SHUT?

Ichigo: Yabe... it is her again (whispers to Halibel)

Halibel: Her? (whispered back to him)

Ichigo: The one who writes this fan fiction.

Halibel: We are fan fiction?

Hitsugaya: What are you talking idiot! She is a friend a friend! As if this is a fan fiction! Get real, this is not anime world boy!

Me: Exactly! Now leave me and him alone, we have a sparring to do!

Halibel: Eh? Sparring? On the bed?

Hitsugaya: Don't say idiotic things! On the sky of course! I am the master of the sky... too bad ne? Halibel-san... If I recall … you were still under my last attack... Hyouten Hyakkasou.

Ichigo: Toushiro you won?

Hitsugaya: It seems like that so far...

Halibel: I am in stand by mode that is why!They broke my contract so they killed me!

Me: No it is just that Hitsugaya is better than you!

Hitsugaya: Shiro-chan for you.

Ichigo and Halibel: (faint thinking "seriously?" )

stay tuned :D and PLEASE review :D

vote for your next Trio. I did this now because it seemed interesting O_O


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach! This is just fiction and for fun really nothing more.

Chapter 8

Sui Fon – Barragan – Nnoitra

Nnoitra: I still cannot believe it!

Barragan: What can't you believe?

Sui Fon: That I am kicking your butt so far.

Nnoitra: Exactly! Even I could have done better than that ossan.

Barragan: Are you picking a fight with Honorable me?

Sui Fon: What exactly is so honorable about you?

Barragan: Everything! My crown , my throne and my power.

Sui Fon: Your power to kill with your stinky breath?

Nnoitra: Some say in Hueco Mundo that he has never washed his teeth!

Sui Fon: Seems like the same applies to you, but judging by the fact that he is older then it is normal that his breath would be stinkier than yours. At least yours doesn't cause things to rot away.

Barragan: I am sorry for not having toothbrushes on Hueco Mundo. And I can;t exactly go to earth and buy. Nobody can see me right?

Sui Fon: You could use one when Aizen came, I am sure he had one too, a cocky bastard like him letting his breath smell would be impossible. How will he get in the pants of those 'females' there.

Nnoitra: As if I would put anything in my mouth that Aizen brought. I want to live you know.

Barragan: Wait this is not the shooting! We can talk freely!

Sui Fon: Nnoitra bring me the chocolates I have put on the drawer.

Nnoitra: Yadda!

Sui Fon: I said BRING the chocolates are you deaf?

Nnoitra: I said YADDA, don't order me around.

Barragan: You stand no chance against her just do as she says.

Sui Fon: You better hear him before you see what my Suzumebachi will do on your strong hiero.

Nnoitra: I am already dead.

Sui Fon: Then If I kill you now it will be the same thing!

Barragan: You can't escape now.

Sui Fon: You are not worth my time! Amateur. If you do not know how to do your work properly why don't you quit?

Nnoitra: What work.

Sui Fon: Seems like you are even more of an idiot than I thought.

Barragan: Don't lose your cool Nnoitra! Men RULE!

Sui Fon: Why am I with those idiots?

Me: I had no choice, you seemed to be an interesting trio!

Sui Fon: Don't go and decide this on your own please!

Barragan: It is probably because you want to exterminate in this fan fiction all the Vasto Lorde and arrancar and Espada.

Me: Are you an idiot? You are all already dead hahahaha

Nnoitra: She is right! Fan fiction? What is that? And more importantly what did he mean?

Sui Fon: You are clueless so shut up and listen.

Nnoitra: Shut up, annoying woman.

Sui Fon: Rot!

Barragan: Shall I breathe?

Me: Old man -_- go home I have no interest in looking your ugly face! And more importantly I do not want your stench to kill me.

Sui Fon: She is right!

Nnoitra: Do you want to look at my face then? I am quite a looker right?

Me: In fact Nnoitra and Barragan you can both go anywhere you want and EF yourselves! Troublesome Espada... weaklings

Sui Fon: She is right!

Nnoitra: I gave an outstanding fight...unlike you!

Barragan: I also gave an an episodic fight!

Me: Smug idiots. I'm leaving.

Barragan: The outcome is not important!

Nnoitra: We still kicked asses!

Sui Fon: I remember that Zaraki kicked your butt really badly!

Nnoitra: Well... kind of...

Barragan: I allowed you to win Sui Fon and you know that Fat guy helped you too. If it wasn't for his fat arm I would have rotted your other hand too!

Sui Fon: Baka... as if! Who do you think I am?

Barragan: Yes chibi girl, or I will take your life before I die!

Nnoitra: Tch! Not fair... I cannot blackmail her.

Me: You two, no more lines for you, you got on my nerves!

Barragan and Nnoitra:

!

Sui Fon: They deserved it! The idiots ( shifty eyes)

Me: Not hot at all! Annoying espada. Especially the old man... so much stench.

Sui Fon: probably they do not know what a shampoo and shower gel can do.

Okay so o_o the next will be:

Komamura, Soi Fon and Kenpachi because someone suggested it -nods-


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach! This is just fiction and for fun really nothing more. This is just for the laughs.

Chapter 9

SoiFon Komamura Kenpachi

Kenpachi: -bends over to grab the bell that fell from the top of his head-

Soi Fon: There we go again … the bells.,

Komamura: I also cannot imagine Kenpachi Taichou without them on...

Kenpachi: Captain wanko is correct.

SoiFon: Whatever just put it on your hair fast.

Kenpachi: Tch I can slash in half anyone I want... this bell won't give me a hard time.

Komamura: I have faith in you Kenpachi.

SoiFon: didn;t you two had a fight in the past?

Kenpachi: Aaaaa yes the fight. It was fun... I was winning heh!

Komamura: It was an equal fight.

Kenpachi: What did you say? -his eyes start to sparkle-

SoiFon: I should have kept my mouth shut …

Komamura: Nobody won, we were equals.

Kenpachi: Heh you think too highly of yourself wanko.

SoiFon: Kenpachi the bell! Just put it on so we can go do our work.

Kenpachi: Oh yes just a moment. -tries to put it on the top spike of his hair but can't reach it-

Komamura: Someone is having trouble. Do you want my help? Seeing as I am taller and can reach your spike...

SoiFon: you are also asking for a fight Komamura.

Kenpachi: Tche! This is nothing, get off my butt and let me do this my way.

Komamura: I was just being friendly...

SoiFon: More like sarcastic... pointing out that you are taller.

Kenpachi: I dun need a fat and tall dog to tell me I cannot do something. Tche!

Komamura: Then do it fast.

Kenpachi: -still tries with the bell but he is failing-

Soifon: Why don't you put that spike lower? Maybe then you will reach it.. or you know cut your hair?

Kenpachi: Don't be like Yachiru! She has been trying to have my hair cut for the past decade.

Komamura: Even the child knows better.

SoiFon: Can we just make this quick and go.

Kenpachi: I said wait a moment Jeezzzzz. I cannot walk around without my bell.

Komamura: I am a dog and I do not have a bell around my neck,

Kenpachi: Yo... wan-chan did you just say that the bells make me a dog?

SoiFon: more like those sheep with the bells … you know shepherds put those around the necks of their sheep so they do not lose them.

Kenpachi: My bells create calming sounds that keep me from kicking all your asses. -tries to put it on again-

Komamura: SoiFon we can just go and leave him here. We can do it ourselves anyway.

SoiFon: Obviously we have no choice. Let's go

~~~~ 2 hours later on their way back they still see Kenpachi trying to put the bell on

Soifon: you are still here?

Kenpachi: I just can't reach it …

Komamura: Just how you cannot get a Bankai.

Kenpachi: I can still kick asses without it … I do not have to go Bankai each time to slash asses

Komamura: Are you saying that I do?

Kenpachi: It's a fact

Soifon: I think that ….I will go now. You two can be foolish together.

Komamura: I suppose I will go too …

Kenpachi: -sighs- okay wait... -extends his arm so that Komamura will take the bell- Put it on for me

Komamura: -laughs loudly and then does so-

Kenpachi: Let's keep this a secret...

Me: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BY TOMORROW ALL OF SEREITEI WILL KNOW THIS!

Kenpachi: Did you hear that?

Komamura: Hear what?

Kenpachi: This girly voice...

Komamura: No … why?

Kenpachi: I think ...someone is watching us!

Me: I do!

Kenpachi: There... the voice again. SHOW YOURSELF AND COME TO GET SLASHED!

Me: -shrieks and runs away-

So I dun know... about this one. Did you like? I have not written one of these in so long lol.

If you liked then review and also make suggestions for my next chapter.

I am thinking I should do Unohana, Stark and Ukitake


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